Nov. 14, 2024 | What is stress, what causes it and what can be done about it? Stress is a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them. These demands often come from outside sources, such as family, jobs, friends, or school. But it also can come from within, often related to what we think we should be doing versus what we’re actually able to do. So stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed, even kids. In preschoolers, separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social pressures, especially from trying to fit in, can create stress. Stress may be intensified by more than just what’s happening in the lives of children. Do your kids hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative’s illness, or arguing with your spouse about financial matters? Parents should be careful how they discuss such issues when their kids are near because children will pick up on their parents’ anxieties and start to worry themselves.

Nov. 14, 2024 | While it’s not always easy to recognize when kids are stressed out, short-term behavioral changes, such as mood swings, irritability, acting out, changes in sleep patterns, or bedwetting, can be indications. Some kids experience physical effects, including stomachaches and headaches. Others have trouble concentrating or completing schoolwork. Still others become withdrawn or spend a lot of time alone. Younger children may pick up new habits like thumb sucking, hair twirling, or nose picking. Older ones may begin to lie, bully, or defy authority. A child who is stressed may also have nightmares, overreactions to minor problems, and drastic changes in academic performance. He or she may seem less interested in an activity that was once extremely important to him or her and prefer to stay at home. All of these may be signs that stress is having a negative impact on your child and it may be necessary for you, as a parent, to intervene.

Nov. 14, 2024 | The loss associated with death can be difficult for anyone, but it can be traumatic for a child. Depending on the child’s age, the death of a relative, especially a parent, can alter the course of his or her development. While you cannot protect a child from what has happened, you can help them deal with the reality of it. If you are a surviving parent, you can expect reactions ranging from regression and anxiety to anger and depression. Be honest and open about what has taken place and provide your child with a lot of comforting, both verbal and non-verbal. Reassure them that you are not going to leave him or her, too, and that life will get back into a routine as soon as possible. In the case of a sibling’s death, even though you may be overwhelmed with your own sadness, your other children need a lot of understanding. And try to avoid putting the deceased child on a pedestal, or your other children may feel they can never be as perfect or as good in your eyes.

Nov. 14, 2024 | All children are different and so is their ability to cope with stress. Some are easygoing by nature and adjust easily to events and new situations. Others are thrown off balance by changes in their lives. All children improve in their ability to handle stress if they previously have succeeded in managing challenges and if they feel they have the ability and the emotional support of family and friends. Children who have a clear sense of competence, who feel loved and supported, generally do well. A child’s age and development will help determine how stressful a given situation may be. Changing teachers at midyear may be a major event for a child in the first grade and merely an annoyance for a sixth-grader. Being short may be a minor issue for a 5-year-old boy but a source of daily embarrassment for an adolescent. How a child responds to stress depends in part on experience and on the child’s individual temperament and coping strategies.

Nov. 14, 2024 | There are several ways to help a child deal with stress. Proper rest and good nutrition can boost coping skills, as can good parenting. Be sure to make time for your kids every day. Whether they need to talk or just be in the same room with you, make yourself available. And don’t try to make them talk, even if you know what they’re worried about. Sometimes kids just feel better when you spend time with them on activities. You can help by anticipating potentially stressful situations and preparing kids for them. For example, let your child know that a doctor’s appointment is coming up soon and talk about what will happen there. Some level of stress is normal, so let your kids know that it’s OK to feel scared or anxious and that other people share those feelings. Reassurance is important, remind them that you’re confident that they can handle the situation. Successfully managing stressful events enhances a child’s ability to cope in the future.